Tall Tales: Faith's UnTrue Adventures
by Swarm012
Summary: Summary: Post- Chosen. Ever wonder if Faith ever did the things she claimed to do? – May contain femslash  Buffy/Faith


**Tall Tales: Featuring Faith Lehane**

Summary: Post- Chosen. Ever wonder if Faith ever did the things she claimed to do? – Contains femslash (Buffy/Faith)

A/N: Not sure if anyone has ever written about this but I've never read a fic solely focused on Faith's adventures, so I decided to write one.

Also, if there are some requests for certain 'adventures' Faith has, I'll be glad to see them! I mostly want to write stuff from what she said though, so it would be nice if you could tell me what episode they were from.

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**Chapter 1**

**Leap of Faith**

"Shit shit shit!" cursed Faith. She stumbled across the street, straight into a dark alley and pressed her back against it, hoping to evade her pursuers. Following right behind was Buffy, who was nearly out of breath as she squeezed in next to Faith, looking over her shoulder to see if anything followed them.

"Who's bright idea was this to come here with just the two of us?" asked Faith, breathing harshly from her escape. "And at my hometown no less…should've known it was bad luck to come back here."

"Willow told us there were only a dozen of them! Not fifty, can't believe they got so many recruits in one night and somehow juiced them up too."

Faith looked at the disheveled blonde with dirt smudged across her normally clean face. The brunette slayer looked down to see Buffy's blood slowly drip down her fingertips onto the asphalt near their shoes.

"Shit B" hissed Faith, taking Buffy's arm to examine the wound.

"It's nothing Faith, just a scratch" lied Buffy. She didn't pull her arm back and let Faith touch her. The blonde barely felt any pain when Faith was lightly probing her wound inflicted by a vampire with a knife. Buffy goofily smiled when she noticed how adorable her sister slayer was when she was concentrating. There would be a little crease between her eyebrows while she squinted, a hint of a dimple when she pulled her bottom lip into her mouth and lightly bit it, and the murmurs she would make when she talked to herself.

Faith released Buffy's hand after a thorough inspection of her wound. "It's still bleeding, you're going to be a target for the vamps if you keep bleeding." The brunette slayer grabbed the bottom of her own shirt and ripped off a long piece of it across the bottom.

"What are you doing?" asked Buffy.

"What's it look like Twinkie?"

Taking Buffy's arm again, Faith secured the make-shift bandage over her wound, hoping to stem the flow of the blood before the vampires found them.

"We gotta go now" said Faith, looking around the dirty alley. "They're gonna be able to smell the blood a mile away B. Ran out of weapons and there's just too much of em."

"We're going to run away?" asked an incredulous Buffy. Faith never ran away from a fight.

Faith turned back to Buffy, looking her closely in the eye. "You're hurt B. These vamps are juiced up and kicked our asses in 10 minutes. And they got weapons. Can't win this one B, not without backup."

Nodding her consent, Buffy wanted to bolt with Faith and contact Slayer Headquarters to bring half a dozen slayers by tomorrow night to finish off the super vampires, but her slayer tingles told her the vampires were near…and there were a lot of them. Faith felt the same unpleasant vibes of the vampires and she turned to Buffy, giving her another look to show that she knew they were coming.

"Shit" hissed Buffy, knowing they had to fight now and their chances of survival were slim, especially with her wounded arm.

"Plan B…we run like hell?" asked Faith, already readying to take off.

"Uh huh, run!" whispered Buffy, grabbing onto Faith's hand and running down the maze of the back alleys of South Boston.

The two slayers ran for their lives, navigating the dark labyrinth-like back alleys while the vampires were right behind them. Sliding across corners, slamming against walls and scaling fences, the Chosen Two were running for over an hour but still the vampires pursued them, the smell of slayer blood too enticing for them to capitulate.

"B…can't keep running forever" huffed Faith, looking behind her to see a group of vampires chasing them 50 feet away.

"I know!" hissed Buffy, scanning the area for a safe building.

The blonde looked all around her; she couldn't just go into any building and risk putting anyone else in danger. Then she saw the telltale sign of a cross on a tower. As they drew closer, she noticed that it was a church and not just some random cross stuck in the middle of nowhere.

"Church!" said Buffy, moving her way to the building and dragging Faith along with her.

"A church? Can't they get in?" she asked, but still followed the head slayer.

"Yea but they usually avoid churches."

"Hope you're right B."

The two ran up the steps to the door, finding it unlocked and quickly slammed the door shut behind them. Outside, the vampires skidded to a halt, growling at the cross and church.

"Think they stopped" said Buffy, gasping for air.

Faith slid down the door, heavily breathing as she looked around her, hoping to find any sort of make-shift weapon.

"Still might come after us, we gotta find a way out. Gosh B, why couldn't you get G-man to get us all cell phones?"

Buffy sat down beside Faith, resting her head against the door. "Tried, said it would cost too much for all the girls to get one. But at this point, I'm going to nag him until he breaks his glasses if he doesn't give us one.

Nodding her head, Faith agreed to Buffy's proposal. Before they could relax again, the doors they were resting on rattled against its own hinges, jarring them both. They jumped up and pulled a pew to the door, hoping it would hold.

"Slayers!" screamed the vampires outside as they continued to bang on the door.

"Now what?" asked Faith.

"Back door. I think we have to run again."

"Might be a trap though, make us run into them and surround us."

Buffy thought about the merit of that statement, shook her head and sighed. "Could be. But if we just stay here we're sitting ducks."

"I know I know. Means we gotta fight our way out B."

"There's no way we can fight all of them!"

"Got no choice."

Faith walked around the church, taking down poles and breaking them across her thigh to create a crude spear. She threw one at Buffy who skillfully caught it, twirling it around her hand to test the weapon.

"Not bad" she mused, looking around her to see if they could use anything else. Faith continued to scour the church for any hidden weapons. Buffy followed Faith's example and broke apart as many poles as she could to make crude stakes and lances.

By the time Faith came back with a box full of bottles, Buffy had laid out the armory she had managed to procure in the scant five minutes. Faith unloaded her stash next to Buffy and sat down next to the blonde. Looking at the contents, Buffy frowned at the younger girl with a confused expression.

"Faith…this is not the time to get wasted" admonished Buffy, pointing the various wine bottles. She took out a plastic one and held it up to Faith's eye, "And I don't think rubbing alcohol is for drinking."

Rolling her eyes, Faith snatched the bottle of isopropyl alcohol and glared at her counterpart. "Watch and learn B."

She went to the table and grabbed the table cloth, ripping it into shreds. Next, Faith soaked the rags in the rubbing alcohol before sticking them into the bottles of wine after effortlessly popping the cork.

"Molotovs?"

"Yep, learned this in good old Boston."

"Okay but now we need fire" said Buffy, looking around for a lit candle. She was temporary blinded by Faith lighting up her zippo right in front of her eyes. The blonde went cross eyed for a moment before pushing the girl's arm away. "Gee, thanks for trying to blind me."

"Had to get your attention somehow" smiled Faith.

"A simple: I have a lighter, would have sufficed."

"Aight, I think they're almost done breaking down the front door. Bottleneck them at the front?" asked Faith.

"Chuck your little bombs at them and I'll get the stragglers. Don't put me on fire" warned Buffy.

"I'll try not to."

The Chosen Two were ready to face the vampires when they finally broke in. First, Faith threw her Molotov cocktails at the unsuspecting vampires, easily igniting several vampires at a time. Buffy threw her stakes to finish off the ones who weren't burning fast enough. By the time the cocktails were all thrown, scarcely half of the vampires chasing them were left, and the surviving vampires were warily looking at the two Slayers and down at the ashes of their companions. Faith grabbed the long poles and ran to the entrance, knocking the vampires down and quickly staking them before they could run away. When Buffy joined the massacre, the survivors finally wised up and ran for their undead lives.

"Well that was bracing" said Buffy, trying to catch her breath as she looked at the dust piles and smoke around her.

"Totally kicked their asses."

Buffy smiled widely at Faith and gave the brunette a playful shove. Faith raised an eyebrow at Buffy's sudden mischievous attitude but she was glad that Buffy was at least a little bit happy after the fight. Even though she knew that all that adrenaline pumping through that small tight body was most likely wreaking havoc for her hungries and hornies.

"Wanna eat?" asked Faith as she brushed off the dust off her clothes.

"Starved."

"Finally admit you get the double H's? You're gonna give me a heart attack here B!" Faith laid her hands on her chest and pretended to be in pain.

The blonde slayer could only roll her eyes and smack Faith's stomach in response. "Never said I didn't get it."

"Can I get that in recording? Cause Xan-man and Red totally owe me a hundred each."

"You guys bet on me?" asked an indignant Buffy who put her hands on her hips as if she was scolding a child.

"Well…yea. Why wouldn't we?"

"Thought they were my friends" muttered Buffy.

The thudding sound of something dropping caught the slayers attention and they both quickly turned to the source in a battle stance, both raising their stakes in the air. The two girls froze in place as they saw who was standing at the entrance.

"W-w-what?" stuttered the half-asleep man while the flashlight rolled around the hardwood floor.

"Uhhm…" Buffy began and looked at Faith, wishing they could somehow explain the piles of dust, the busted up door, the numerous scorch marks and the missing poles. "You see….Father" Buffy said to the priest.

"Oh dear Lord" interrupted the priest as he ran up to Faith and threw his arms around the stiff girl. "You have come back!" shouted the man as he praised the Lord.

Buffy stood still and blinked rapidly to clear the mirage in front of her, because clearly a priest would not hug Faith. Or so she though. She rubbed her eyes thoroughly and still the image of the man and her sister slayer who looked as confused as her staring back at her.

"Yo…" said Faith, pushing the man away from her as he continued to mutter under his breath. "Don't know who you think I am, but you don't go hugging me like that."

"My dear, the Lord has sent you here again to save us from those vile demons! You are an angel" he said with tears in his eyes.

Both slayers could only say, "Huh?"

"I remember the exact date of your first arrival" he said, warmly taking her hands in his, "It was the 24th of October and our bus broke down in South Boston. These demons came at us and you appeared to save our lives!"

"Wait…" said Faith, "Oh! You're that preacher dude that got arrested with me!"

"You remember. Yes I am the one, I am honored to see you again." He looked around at the remains of the fight and back to the two girls in front of him. "Have you cleansed the earth again? Are people safe to come here?"

"Uh…yea. We got 'em all" said Faith, finally taking her hand out of the man's grasp.

"Is there any assistance you may need? I will be most happy to aid you."

"We're good. Right, B?"

She turned towards Buffy, who had her jaw dropped in shock as she tried to process the information. She clicked her jaw back in place and stuttered, "Uh…yea, we're totally good. We're done. Vampires totally dead and gone…"

"That is good news. Do you two ladies need any lodgings? We have some spare rooms in the back" he gestured, ready to take the two fighters in.

"No!" shouted Buffy, "I mean…no. We have to go back now. Got a plane to catch" she said in a softer voice.

"Right.." Faith raised another eyebrow at Buffy. "Plane to catch. See ya later preacher man."

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked, hoping to help them out somehow.

"Not really. But we would appreciate it if you kept this on the low-down."

"Of course my dear. Of course."

Without another word, Faith took Buffy's elbow and dragged the shocked blonde away from the church. When they were finally out of sight from the grateful preacher, Buffy got back her bearings and she pulled Faith to a stop.

"What?" asked Faith.

"That story was true?"

"Huh?"

"That story about you slaying naked! And getting arrested. That was true?" Buffy very well shouted into the empty streets.

Faith smirked and continued to walk, leaving Buffy behind. The blonde slayer huffed in annoyance at Faith's silent response and ran up to catch up to Faith.

"Hey!" she poked Faith in the ribs. "So it was true? Really?"

"You thought I was lying?"

"Well…yea" said a sheepish Buffy.

"Oh B…you should know me by now. I don't tell nothing but the truth."

"That's a lie in itself."

"Is it?"

"What else is actually true that you told us? Naked slaying, what's next? Naked alligator wrassling?"

The brunette smiled impishly at the blonde and threw her arm around Buffy's shoulder to pull the girl closer to her. She gently squeezed her shoulder and looked straight into her hazel eyes.

"Just gotta find out now won't we B?"


End file.
